• It requires a religious search for meaning.
• A lonely separation from the collective identity with others.
• A painful looking into oneself, at one’s shadow.
• The acceptance of a higher power within oneself to which one must submit. God is present in the depths of man’s being.

The work of the dream guide is to touch the seed in the dreamer so that the meaning can unfold.

The one-week dream Workshop is only a good beginning of dream work. In the selection of dreams, the first five in this section are mainly of dreams coming, or worked on in the workshop. The last, Seetha’s Dreamwork, is far more comprehensive. As she tells her story you can see her moving from the Dream Workshop to the Holistic Health Workshop, to personal fulltime work on dreams, to study and application of dream books and notes and finally to mandalization. Attending faithfully the dreamwork group was another meaningful help in her progress with understanding dreams. While very few can afford fulltime work at dreams and healing for over six months, we include her work here to show the depth and richness possible from this investment of energy and time.

Prema’s Dream
I dreamt of a chappal -- with nothing to hold the foot -- but looking very soft and comfortable. I could just feel how good it would feel on my foot. But my eyes were focused on a kind of speedometer by the big toe -- the size of a one rupee coin-- it kept moving FAST even though I wasn’t walking in the chappal. I was amazed -- how could this be -- by itself the miles were adding up. And I didn’t like it. As I watched, a foot and toe grip emerged on the chappal and I put them on -- they felt so good.
I drew the symbol and mediated on it and saw the message very clearly. My workaholic part goes charging ahead working, working, working while my Director part stands back amazed had gets sick. I was in bed for two months with sciatica--but I charge on. I decided to put on the chappals -- go at my own speed, say `No’ to what I cannot do and take and enjoy leisure--reading, listening to music, sharing with friends, stitching, cooking, housekeeping, etc. See Picture 1.

Removing The Block
In psychotherapy, we speak of impasse, blocks, and ego defenses, and there are many ways to work through them. This dreamwork exemplifies this. A woman in her fifties, suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis was stuck after a theory session on Rheumatoid Arthritis in which she was told that there are two weaknesses in these clients :

• They have difficulty putting feeling into words, and
• Suffer and impoverished fantasy life--finding it difficult to imagine.

Her block was in thinking she could not do these two things so she was stuck in her healing process. The she got this dream :
"Some Sisters and some children and I were cleaning around my own house near the woodshed. We finished cleaning up and were all leaving. One Sister whom I knew, threw a knife down the slope. It slid down very fast. A small child--a boy of seven or eight years was standing at the bottom of the slope. I was standing at the center of the slope and wanted to stop the knife, but could not. The knife hit the child in the leg, and made a big cut below the knee, but he was not crying and no blood came. People did not bother to see to the injury and I was angry with the Sister who threw the knife, and knife, and cried for the child."
To get the meaning of the dream she first used the techniques called Title, Theme, Affect, and Question (TTAQ). Here,

T= Cleaning Day T= Wounded Child

A=Sad, sympathy for the child, then angry at the Sister who threw the knife, and

Q= Is it the usual attitude in my life?

Then in the group we did the Senoi Method where she became each part.

The Sister Who Threw the Knife : I am the person who threw the knife. I’m very clever in accomplishing what needs to be done. I can organize people to do anything I want. I’m not concerned about their problems, when I want something to be done. I’m always worried about my time and my work. I’m always doing more than anybody else, I’m cleverer than anybody. My tongue is like a knife cutting people down. I can laugh at anything, even an accident. My feeling level is inappro-priate I can laugh at other people’s misfortune and do it very often. I think I have many friends, but all I talk about is my work and my accomplishment. I enjoy talking to one person about another, bragging about myself. I suffer from `I -sickness’.
At first, I didn’t like that part and refused to own it. Only when the facilitator said : "Isn’t that what you are doing to the child in you?" I began to reflect and then see clearly the connection to my behaviour. I see myself doing that to my Child all throughout my life, I hated my body and gave it no attention. One tin of talcum powder lasts over ten years for me. I just don’t bother about me.

Knife: I am very useful, sometimes I hurt people if not careful. When I’m not in use, I’m lonely. I hurt others when they’re not careful handling me. I get very angry when people misunderstand what I say. Then I may hit out at them.
Now I see this may be a part of my weakness in putting my feeling into words. I will improve on this by keeping a Feeling Journal.

Woodshed :Rats and white ants like to eat me. People like to dump things in me-useless things.
Why do people dump junk in me ?
It’s and open place, ready to receive. I’m the Queen of Rubbish collectors. I’ve done this all my life, trying to please others so they’II love me.

Slope : I’m the slope, smooth and steep, anything can pass, but if not careful, they slip and fall.
Why are you so smooth and steep?
I’m made like that just stand and watch others harm people and I’m passive. I’mvery careful to see to others needs, but did not do a thing to save my child from injury. I could have kicked the knife, or shouted at the Sister to stop, or shouted to the child to move out the way.

Self : I’m sympathetic, good to others, especially when someone is nasty to workers, but I don’t confront, I avoid them. I don’t confront any powerful person. I bury the anger in my joints.

Child : Please take me to the source of your power. When I asked for a gift, I got To Be Assertive and active and to take care of my child.

After reflection, I made the following contracts for changes: I’II care for my child by :

• Wearing warm clothes as needed, and dress nicely.
• Use plenty of laugh therapy, develop my sense of humor.
• Pray for the strength to keep all my contracts.
• Change all negative to positive talk/ thought/ feeling / and behaviour.
• Stroke my assertiveness.
• Give positive strokes and appreciate myself and the good in me.
• Keep a Feeling Journal and express my feelings appropriately.

When we met twice, at our monthly dreamgroup days, she reported, and we could see, great improvement in caring for her Child. She has enjoyed keeping track of her assertive behaviour. She now claims the child as her own, and take responsibility to be aware of , and meet the Child’s needs -- and her health had greatly improved.

Pramila’s Dream

"I am driving the car down the road. A man comes and tells me not to go. You cannot go; you will not reach. I answer that men: "I will go. I will reach that place." That person keeps on telling me not to go. I too keep on answering him that I will go. That person becomes tired of stopping me and he goes and stands somewhere. Again I am being blocked by a heavy traffic jam. I find it difficult to drive. I feel irritated, tensed at finding it difficult to reach that place. I decide to calm down, and relax by deep breathing-- and again I proceed to my destination. During my journey in the car, the sentence is in me : "If I decide anything, I will never turn back." Nobody can stop me.

Dream Techniques used : Title, Theme and Questions (TTAQ)

Questions :

1. What is the dream trying to tell me ? If you want to do anything be firm and patient; instead of getting tense or nervous. You will reach your destination.
2. How am I going to respond to the dream ? Like the trafficjam, there will be blocks on my way, face them courageously without getting affected negatively.
3. What actions have I taken ? I decided to work as I like and make my own choice. I made up my mind to remain in this line and do my best. I agreed to go and work in the slum area which I had never done in my life. I courageously accepted to work alone, with only the minimum training in this line. I made my people understand me and my desire when they wanted me to get married immediately. I faced the problem with full courage with my colleagues - who felt I was working beneath my dignity as a nurse - by going to work in the slum. I decide to complete my B.A. and go ahead with my studies. I found I could behave us an adult when my mother questioned me or when she did something which I didn’t like. By recognizing negative things in me, I can grow, rather than get depressed.
4. What is the relation between my dream, my present life and future life and my personality ? I had the problem with my boyfriend, whom I was going to marry. He didn’t want me to work or study further. My goal is to finish all my studies and he was totally against my wish. That time I had this dream. Then after sometime, I met him and explained to him that I am very much taken up by this work that I am going now. He has agreed with me and decided to come to my place and start his business there. The message I got from the dream was : If you want to achieve your goal, be firm and at the same time be patient. If you want tot reach your goal without getting yourself affected. ` you want to very slowly, and try to manage all the blocks.
5. Why is the man coming and stopping me? I always like to be independent and like to have my own way. Being a girl, I cannot always be like that. I have to bend where ever it is needed.

Incubation
After this dreamwork, Pramila incubated a dream to get the meaning of the man in the dream. That night she got this dream :

I was at a ticket office; The man said; "There are no  tickets, why didn’t you came five minutes earlier ?" As I’m turning away, an old man comes up to me and  says : " You wait and I’II get the ticket for you."

Dialogue

Facilitator :See the old man as dream guide -- discuss it all with him and get his advice and write up the dialogue.

Pramila : I haven’t told anyone else, but my boyfriend is a Hindu, and I’m a Christian. I’m worried about what will happen to my religion and that of my children if we marry. Also I don’t know how to tell our parents.

Old Man :I don’t really have anything to tell you -- you’ve gone over all I could possibly say so many times in your own mind. All I can say, if you really love each other, you can live with the problem and work it out. I’m here any time you want to talk things out.

Dream Tasks

Pramila set the following dream tasks :

1. To openly discuss this with both parents.
2. Knowing that I am going against strong cultural barriers, being independent chosing my own husband, marrying out of my religion -- I will appreciate and recognize my acions in this line. I will have to face lots of opposition, So I’II have to stroke myself.
3. I always like to have my own way. I know as a girl I can’t be like that always, I will be open to people who are near and dear to me and listen to them, and be sensitive to their feelings.
4. I will be patient with myself and others.
5. 5) I’II be responsibly free, independent and interdependent, close to other, yet can stand on my own too.

Theory
This dream points to the way people move on from one phase to the next in their development.

Phase of Development

1. Symbiosis : Full dependent of two person on each other for continued existence. It can be: Healthy, as when the foetus is in the mother’s womb, or Unhealthy, after birth, when who people are totally dependent on each other.
2. Dependence : where one person has to depend on another for life. e.g. a child depends on its parents until it grow up.
3. Counterdependence : attempts to break away form dependency. This occurs especially at two periods of life : A. The "terrible 2’ s" : when the child says `no’ to every attempts of parents to discipline it. B. The "terrible teen", from 13-19 years, when one minutes they are fully adults and the next all child. This is a crucial time where parents must be skilled to help them through to the next stage.
4. Interdependence :Close to others yet separate.

Pramila had difficult time from the teen’s counterdependence into independence. Now she sees her task as to move on to interdependence. She realises it will be difficult, but she knows how to do it..

Cleaning your lens
A woman in her late 40’s had been attending growth group and counselling for over twenty years. She had improved, but something kept her hooked to the early childhood memories. This prevented her from living fully and utilizing all her talents in the present. During a dream workshop she shared this dream :
"I was driving a white Maruti car (I don’t know driving)
I hit a tree and was thrown out with my left beg broken.
I see all the car in bits, and am feeling very sorry for the car, that I smashed it up. Nearly, I see a workshop and drag myself to pick up all the pieces to take there for repairing her car."
She used Key Questions first to get the meaning of the dream. She saw that her life was like the dream, the past was like the Maruti car -- and she was caring for all the old broken pieces (the bad things she remembered all these years), rather than seeing her life as precious and so many good things in her. She was not concerned about her broken leg. She came to understand that parts of her are scattered all over the place./ The facilitator asked if she wanted to gather all those pieces and put them together. She said yes. She was asked to set up a typical scene from her childhood that evoked her feelings of rejection and negative self image. She directed different group members to act her family. As she watched her Psychodrama her big sister said : "Why don’t you act like us and be good and keep up our good name and then we’ll love you ?" The she said," I can’t be good always, but I’II try to be good at least for one day."
As she reflected on the same drama she recalled that her parents had expected a boy, and she was born. So she acted like a boy, dressed like a boy and played like a boy, one day she even dressed up like a boy and took her photo to win her parents’ favour. However, she was always a scapegoat. She was different in every way. She felt she was dark and not pretty. she used to play with low caste poor children (not accepted by the family) and stole food to give to the poor. She had many talents, but even these were not appreciated by her parents, brothers and sisters. They wanted her to be like them. She was scolded, beaten, thrown out of the house and cried and cried but did not change. She excelled at monoact, singing, drama, etc. and even thought of becoming a film star and enrolled her name, but the family stopped her. She was very good at studies, and once when she came first in the class, her parents showed no recognition at all -- they still were not pleased with her. She felt like a rejected orphan and was weeping as she looked at her psychodrama.
The facilitator said : "Why don’t you clean your lens, your glasses are so smudged you can’t see reality. You’re been seeing all you did in the past as bad and feeling sad for being a disobedient child. All of us who are watching your drama congratulate you on maintaining your own uniqueness. That so-called rebellious child had a lot of power to liberate you so you could be the unique person God meant you to be from all eternity. They didn’t reject you, you rejected them. You refused to be a family reprint, a rubber stamp, you took up your own line of thinking, speaking, and behaving. You decided to you YOU and not as they all wanted you to be. Now your homework is to clean your glasses and reflect on the past, enjoying your spunky child and all her achievements, and report to us in the morning."
The next day a new person appeared. Cleaning the lens helped her see that she was deliberately bad to be herself ! She laughed and enjoyed all her childhood antics. All guilt was replaced with pride at the power and uniqueness of her Child. She said : "After the Psychodrama session I felt the tremendous power of the Spirit. I felt very tired, but what a reward as I changed my way of perceiving things. My transformed self isn’t an orphan, she belongs wherever she is, liberated, fully human, full alive."

Bindu’s Dream

Six months back I dreamed of hellfire. I could see the flames, high and hot and I was blowing so hared to put out the fire and calling the name of Jesus. I woke up everyone in the dormitory, and they woke me up to stop screaming !

Bindu : This is the pattern of my life -- I start things - I’m quite radical in my thinking -- then outsiders accuse me. I disturb others both night and day - and then I’m asked to go some place else. I’m unworthy to confront. I must make myself worthy to confront.

Facilitator : Because the hellfire -- put books down. Sit relaxed, put yourself in a comfortable mood. See that hellfire--just watch that hellfire, watch the flames. Become aware of the smell, your own feelings as you watch the fire. Now describe it. How do you feel ?

Bindu : I’m uneasy-- I want to quench it, I’m holding Christ’s hand.

Facilitator : Hold it, watch and face it.

Bindu : I feel strengthened.

Facilitator : Watch and describe it.

Bindu : It is going out.

Facilitator : Are you like that hellfire in any way? Is anyone afraid of you, as you are of this hellfire?

Bindu : I am also a cause for this hellfire in the community. Because I used to impose upon the community my ideas of social awareness. Some do not like to hear about it for they can’t digest that idea. They are quite comfortable in their kingdoms or departments -- having the freedom of using finance as they wish. For them I and others who are working in this line are a threat. They might lose their comfort and freedom if our presence continues there, in spite of our trying to understand them. This tension was represented by this hellfire. This tension became so strong it affected even the working girls. I really wanted to have the situation changed. This desire of mine represented by my action of blowing out the fire with confidence in the strength of Jesus.

Facilitator : Others try to put you out -- transfer you. You are going too fast and they feel threatened. The other side is -- they see you as hellfire. Are the masculine/feminine sides of you balanced?

Bindu : No, my masculine side is much stronger. I grew up in a joint family of all boys, I was stroked for being boyish. When I went home for holidays among my five sisters, they liked me being the `man’ in the house, so I kept it up. My masculine side was much more developed than the feminine.

Facilitator :You can look at the feminine side of the fire as a hearth tender, for self and others, taming the fire to give warmth and light rather than heat and destruction.

Bindu : I see that my keen desire for justice and my compassion for the poor and oppressed led me to go all out as a hellfire to revolutionize the world. This aliernated me from my community and the church authorities as I would not communicated properly or take permissions ahead of time. I see that I could bring up my feminine qualities more towards my community and church authorities so that my fire could burn bright and warm rather than hot and destroying -- me and other. This is why I had the feelings of unworthiness of quenching the hellfire during the reentry dream exercise. So to make this dream meaningful in my life situation there should be a lot of change on my pat. Changes I will make are

1. I will respect other’s views and values and also accept others as they are.
2. I will be sensitive towards other’s feelings.
3. I will be patient and prudent in all my actions.
4. I will become aware of my actions which irritate others -- such as boldness, over courage, self confidence, daring and risk taking actions and instead cultivate the feminine characteristics which I lack.

The Dream Tasks she selected were :

1. Draw the fire and meditate daily on how I am using it in my life. See Picture 2.
2. Write out which feminine characteristics you develop and how and the effects on your personality and life.

I will be attentive to my companions needs, celebrate their birthday in loving ways, see to their needs if sick, I will take interest in the house and garden-making things homely, preparing tasty dishes, flower arrangements, etc. I will take up drawing, art, and music. I will especially learn to express my feelings and to notice the feeling of others and to respond appropriately. This will help them experience the same compassion which the poor experience from me.

3. Answer the questions for Dream Technique : Looking for the Social Dimension of my Dream.

Her answers follow :

1. How can this dream be a gift to my community ?
   It indicates the Mission of the community being to witness to the Kingdom of God. I am called to be a Prophet -- to bring this about.
2. How does this dream call me to foster the growth of the community ?
   To act responsibly in the community ?
   I will try my best to be a shining witness value in the community by allowing the people to experience God’s love through our genuine love and concern for them.
3. Is there some way through this dream that my community is asking something of me ?
   Yes, my inability of blowing out that hellfire shows that I should slow down my pace, and become ad bridge between the traditional group and the radical group.
4. Have I recently experienced conflicts or confrontations in the community setting ? If so, how might this dream be putting me in touch with my social right and responsibilities ?
   Yes, there was conflict in the community recently. The fire was a symbolic message in the dream. While I was trying to blow out that hellfire, I was disturbed and awakened by someone. Like that, I am not given the chance to make up the tension which was created by that conflict in the community. I need to follow Jesus -- spend forty days in the wilderness, fasting and praying. I don’t spend enough time to reflect on my life experiences, so I don’t learn the message. After reflection I will develop my feminine qualities and my mission will be accepted by my community.

The next morning Bindu shared in the group :

"I have started to look forward, not backward. I saw the positive power of fire, a power of purification, as I was part of the fire, I got purified in it and can with courage and confidence set the fire, I got purified in it and can with courage and confidence set the fire of love of God to the people of God.

Theory
In the second Journey of life, mid-life, between 40-60, there are four polarities to balance in our process of growth. This dream exemplifies elements of imbalance in all four, but mainly in the 3rd Polarity, integrating Masculine/Feminine.

1. The 1st Polarity : Young/old (the Major Polarity)
Have you been young all you life, that is,open to birth, growth, possibility, initiation, openness, energy, potential ?
Have you yield to being "old" in your life, that is, yielded to termination, fruition , stability, structure, completion, death ? How have you re-balanced these polarities at this time of life ?

2. The 2nd Polarity : Integrating Destruction /Creation.
How have you healed painful feelings and experiences of life -- in art, music, cooking, etc.?
Have you examined the tragic sense of life, the internal flow (e.g. arrogance, pride, sense of omipotence, stubbornness ) that has laid you low in the past and can do so in the future?
Have you decided to cop out, or to seek a new balance of power and love ?
What is your "Soul language "? How do you express your inner feelings, sentiments, experiences?
How have you rebalanced destructive/creative thrusts in your life.?

3. The 3 rd Polarity : Integrating Masculine/Feminine
-- Which are your Masculine traits ? How can you enhance them ?
-- Which are your Feminine traits ? How can you enhance them ?
-- Have you balanced the masculine/feminine polarity to your satisfaction ?

The feminine side of man is called the Anima (Latin for "Soul"). For men, the anima or the feminine side plays an important part in the soul. It personifies eros emotionality. When in good relationship with the  feminine, she fills him with positive attitudes of loyalty, love and relatedness to people and actually increased the masculine strength by giving him emotional support. The unconscious, feminine side of a man’s personality is personified in dreams by images of women ranging from prostitute to seductress to spiritual guide (Wisdom). She is the eros principle, hence a man’s anima development is reflected in how he relates to women. Identification with the anima can appear as moodiness, effeminacy, and oversensitivity. Jung calls the anima the archetype of life itself.
The masculine side of a woman is called the Animus (Latin for "Spirit")
The unconscious side of woman is personality personifies the logos principle. Identification with animus can cause a woman to become rigid, opinionated, and argumentative. More positively, he is the inner man who acts as bridge between the woman’s ego and her own creative resources in the unconscious.

4. The 4th Polarity : Integrative Attachment./Separateness
What is your attachment index ? Separateness ?
Do you have time for yourself ? How active is your inner world : imagination, fantasy, play ? Meditation and reverie ? Are you satisfied with your level of creativity ?
Have you balanced your own needs with the needs of Society ?
Look at some attachments in your life :

-- someone you won’t let go of
-- your old image of yourself
-- an outworn belief
-- an illness

Seetha’s Dreamwork

Since I attended the Dream Workshop at Bibwewadi, Holistic Health Centre, on April 30-May 5, 1990, I have been trying to understand my dreams and works on their meaning. After the course, my facilitator was helping me personally in various ways. She helped me make my Script Matrix with the aid of a questionnaire to locate in which areas in my person and life I was blocked and how to become free. As I had no job, or finances, she helped me attend two more course at the centre as a loan and gave time to listen to my traumatic experienced that I could not share with anyone, and also with her in the beginning.
The following special dream I had just before the dreamgroup meeting. I was going through problems personally and in my relationship with a man who was my friend, who was to leave the country soon. I was very troubled by this relationship, though it did bring some growth and healing into our lives. I knew his departure was going to hurt me very much and was trying to prepare myself to face it bravely.

First Dream : The Collapse of the Healing Temples. Date 24.5.90
I saw I was one of the students at ancient Buddhist monastery, having several old buildings which are Healing Temples. I and other students of my batch and junior batches are taken to the site of these temples one fine morning for lectures. The lectures are given with practical demonstrations, working on ourselves i.e. each one who has some physical problem is asked about the symptoms, examined by the lama tutor, who explains to all the students the remedies prescribed. One student who has thus been treated, is lying on one side of the class on top of a desk.
We were brought that day to this ancient building site, as there were believed to be special spiritual powers at work there, enhancing the power of all, to grasp teachings, to understand, to find remedies, to heal, But the place and buildings are so old, we feel, they may collapse any moment.
We look at a batch of senior students who look healthier than others, they look to be whole persons, enjoying being themselves, loving their lives. They came to demonstrate what they learned so far.
One of the students is Bettina, my German girlfriend (she had referred me to the Holistic Health Centre). The tutor asks anyone who has any type of problem to step forward, and he points to me, As there is no escape, I step up. One young man from the seniors comes to me. I begin to explain, but before I start, he comes from the back and touches me and puts his arms around me, from the back over my stomach and massages lightly. It feels very good. Then he steps back. My friends who is leaving the country, is one of the senior students, he steps up and massages my chest. Then Bettina says : "This place is so dilapidated, any moment the roof will fall on top of us -- let us all get out here !" The tutor agrees and all of us file out, as some tremors of an impending earthquake starts. The buildings - temples are made of very beautiful fine red stones, neatly chiselled and the roofs are also made of these stones. The roof stones start glowing with a special light ; it is almost like on the roofs coming from within the temples. As the same time, all the students rush out of the collapsing building. Bettina’s healing powers are so powerful, and that is partly the cause of this shaking and collapsing of the temples.
I help the student who was treated, to come out of the building and she says. "I am feeling much better already". Excavations had been going on to find the ancient healing practices, and medicines, and tools used, and there are big caverns made after digging the ground, into which each building falls, and all becomes level ground. Much red dust is in the air around us. We wonder if all the other students managed to escape. All are calm, in spite of all this and balanced in emotions.
Bettina gives me some massage and I feel much better. I feel bad that these ancient buildings are all down and think they could have been restored.
I go to the postoffice to post some letters. I meet a few senior students there. I tell them I felt sad and maybe the buildings could have been restored and used. One young man listens carefully and says something. I woke up.
I could not remember after waking what he said. The time was 12:30 A.M. I was feeling awful, terrified by the experience in the dream, frightened when I thought the house/buildings means me -- wondering if it means my health is so bad that it cannot be restored -- am I going to die even after all my efforts of the whole month, working on my dreams and problems? But later in the day when I read what I wrote on the dream it looked totally different in meaning. I had planned to attend the course on Holistic Health at the Centre and felt the dream speaks of approval of that decision. As I felt the question was unresolved, I went back to the dream and carried it forward.

Dream Carried Forward
I go to the site of the collapsed temples, together with the senior student who was listening to me. We reach there early morning. We see the stones of the collapsed buildings are glowing like red fire. We walk towards it, the heat is great, but it feels good. I walk into one of the pits, feel like meditating, and sit down to meditate. I am at peace and totally calm. The young man walks around and looks at all the scene silently and meditatively. We are at peace with each other and ourselves.
I shared this dream and the next one. It was like a sequel to this dream, confirming what is going on in me and what could come in the future. The meaning I got which was shared by the dreamgroup members is this. There is a need for my old self to be completely demolished, so a new self can emerge. This transformation will occur by the healing power within. For me, this was a very important dream. I was given the task by the dreamgroup to draw the dream. See picture 3 (page 296) . I did it at home; it took a few days to complete it. I was drawn to meditate on it and felt a power within me, which made me peaceful and calm. I took this as a message of what will happen to me when my friend leaves, it helped prepare me for the resurrection after the death experience.
Insertion on 18.10.90. This proved true in reality.

The Second Dream, a Confirmation. Date 26.5.90. The Impossible Dream
I see myself with some Europeans at the ashram at Goa (where I had lived and worked for 1.1/2 years ) inside the house. It is well furnished. We are looking at the ashram album and I am explaining it to them. Then I see the ashram in a dilapidated state. I and the others are on the top of a hill looking at it, but we are peaceful and calm. It is sunset-a very beautiful sunset. Janny, my third elder sister comes and says; "Let us have a dancing meditation." I agree and announce it and put on the music. It is a special joyful music. All are overcome with the beauty and mystery of the sunset, and the music. They begin dancing joyfully, We go dancing to each person around the verandah. The sun sets and the moon rises at the same time and at the same place, side by side above the sea. It is a glorious sight, so beautiful, and I feel God’s presence there in it all.
Somewhere outside I see Sinji, while we begin to dance, and hear her asking for me. I wish eagerly she does not see or meet me now. She comes around and wants to start talking, but when she sees how engrossed I am in the dancing with a teenage girl, and in the meditation, she does not disturb me. (Sinji is a lady I met at the ashram in Goa, a European hippy, addicted to drugs. She is a demanding and manipulative person and no one can manage her except a few of us.) In the dream also, as in reality, I feel a little apprehensive when I see her coming in the beginning, but decide to stand my ground and confront her, knowing that she knows she cannot manipulate me. Then as I dance, I meet a man sitting alone. I ask if I can come to him and he says yes, he would be glad. So I kneel before him and hold his thighs with my hands and look up to him. He is so taken aback to see how free I am but he is glad, and tells me so. And we begin to talk.
(When the second dream came, I was sure they both bring a message and worked on it using dialogue method :

Seetha to Sunset/Moonrise : What do you symbolize, and what is your message ?
Sunset/Moonrise : We want to show you that God can do anything , even to change natural events for those who trust in Him.
Seetha to Dilapidated House : What do you stand for ?
House : I am you -- your present situation is this. But you able to accept yourself and be content and happy. You can be rebuilt. After doing all you can to grow, wait for the supreme power to act.
Seetha to Sinji : Are there any of your characteristics in me ?
Sinji : May bein milder forms, which need to be worked on to become whole.

After this I thanked each dream character and symbol and we said goodbye to each other. When I had dream, I only had an inclination or intuition that God was going to act in my life in a special way. I knew my friend’s leaving would effect me negatively-- and I could not face the future. But I trusted in God and decided to be open and to cooperate as much as I understood His leadings.
I shared the dreams with the dreamgroup. The facilitator indicated it could be about a new creation as the whole scene showed a scene of creation, which confirmed my own sense of meaning. I was asked to draw the dreams as a dream task and did it later at home. See Pictures 4 and 5. It was a healing, joyful, affirming experience to draw them. I felt that something great was about to take place in me. It reminded me of a similar experience I had during the Dream Workshop :

Dry Bones Meditation Tape : We were asked to fantasize ourselves witnessing the event of the dry bones coming alive into an army as the prophet Ezekiel prophecies (It was very strange for me--though my sufferings make me feel not to want to have anything to do with Prophets--still I am constantly called to this Mission. So though I did not want to enter the fantasy, I did so reluctantly.) I saw myself in the valley standing next to Ezekiel--I saw the whole valley full of dry deal bones, which started coming alive as the prophet prophesied. The valley was in a V- shape, see picture 6, with the prophet standing at the right side, I at the juncture of the V--as they come alive, the first man in the army is standing just opposite me. He looks like the leader of the group. Though they are an army, they are in festive clothes, with bright colours. The man opposite me was tall, dark, with a crimson colour shawl over one of his shoulders, very healthy, and muscular. I felt out of place alone, and wanted to join these people--I tell this to the man and he invites me to join them. I do, but find I don’t belong there either, so I return to my former place. I ask him why I feel like this. He said you are not alone, you are with the prophet. I asked why they are in festive clothes though they are an army. He replies I would know soon and must wait. What struck me about the man was that his eyes were like two jewels, flames of light came out of them like lightning striking my eyes shut whenever I looked at them.
The meaning I got from this experience was that my eyes are open to see all God is doing with me. This captured the whole feeling of the week’s workshop--enlightenment.
The following dreams (covered above) gave the message the man told me to wait for.

Third Dream : The Healing Book. Date 11.7.90
I experienced inside me a pull in two directions. The one side said to take up a job and solve my financial difficulties. The other side said I need much more time to complete my healing. I asked for direction in this problem and got the following dream. I saw myself go to place where there is a library for holistic health books. I go there and borrow some books to read. A sister comes and helps me and I choose three books, one on dreams, the other two a collection of articles in files. She checks them and gives them to me. I woke up.
Thinking it was an answer to work, I sent an application to Sister Susanne in Bombay who had invited me to work there. For weeks I got no reply, then I thought it meant to work further on my dreams. So I went to the Centre, and there on the shelf I saw the very book1 I had dreamt about. So I took it out and started working day and night on my dreams. Every day I was dreaming and the book was very helpful, and a greater clarity, understanding of dreams and their meaning, meaning of symbols stated coming to me after using the book for my dreamwork.
Two other books which I used at the same time helped me greatly in my healing process.2 I was using fantasy dialogues with individuals and groups, together with praying for healing of hurt memories. Due to my relational problems, I was trying to approach my facilitator, and get her to help me always. But instead of complying , she helped me stand on my own and work out my problems alone by giving these books and guiding me. Although in the beginning I was hurt by this, later I knew the wisdom of her attitude and actions and co-operated and soon found I had the power within me to heal myself and become whole. I had a dream during this time which confirmed this fact. Other staff of the Centre also helped me whenever I visited and approached them by listening tome and encouraging me to open and share my dreams, affirming me as I progressed in my work and keeping away when I tended to cling to them --just as my facilitator did. This was very good for me.
___________

1. Strephon Kaplan Williams. Jungian-Senoi Dreanwork Manual. Journey Press, Berkeley, 1980.
2. Dennis and Matthew Linn. Healing Life’s Hurts. Paulist press, New York, 1978. ______ . ______ . and Sheila Fabricant. Healing the Eight Stages of Life. Paulist Press, New York, 1987.

Fourth Dream : The Healing Muse. Date : 1.6.90
In the dream I saw myself in my own room, but within the room there is a four-sided enclosure made by curtains and a concrete piece painted fully white, hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the enclosure. All the villagers are getting healed because of my healing ministry. The concrete piece is made because the Healing Muse has come to visit me, and is staying with me. Whenever he comes he hangs from the concrete. piece. He looks like a big person, like an angel, with wings, but cannot say whether a man or woman, but I refer as he--he looks beautiful like a woman and handsome like a man. See picture 7.
The whole village knows that he has come. They all encourage me to be with the Muse and not be distracted with other things and to help the villagers be healed by healing myself. The room is bright in spite of the double wall. As I looked at the Muse, I saw the eyes were the same as the leader of the army in the Ezekiel fantasy. From June 1 to 4,. I used dialogue with the dream spirits and symbols to get the meaning.

Seetha to the room : What sort of room are you? What do you signify?
Room : I am Seetha’s room where she feels at home and can be true to herself and expose herself fully, and be relaxed and at peace. I have all facilities for her to be and work. I am her self.
Seetha to the Concrete Piece : What are you?
Concrete Piece : I symbolize your conscience. The Healing Muse is part of me.
Seetha : Are you at peace with me?
Concrete Piece : Yes I am, when I am not, I will tell you--and you will not be able to rest until you work on the problem. So do not worry. Are you at peace with--do you want any change in me?
Seetha : Generally I am satisfied, but at times you seem to play tricks on me and I get confused. I would like you to change that habit so I can be at peace always.
Concrete Piece : When is this, when do I play tricks?
Seetha : When you seem to prick me even when I have not done anything wrong.
Concrete Piece : It is in your hands to stop that game, and the Muse is here to help you.
Seetha : Thank you for telling me.
Seetha to Healing Muse : Who/What are you?
Healing Muse : I am the Healing Muse--I am with you always, but when you call me I specially come to help you heal yourself, to change and to become whole.
Seetha : Why are you hanging from the ceiling ? Why are you not being with me?
Healing Muse : I live in your conscience and am part of your conscience. I am not human, but part of the Spirit and so have no gender, sex, etc. I am connected to your anima/animus and so I am handsome and beautiful, signifying my wholeness within you. I am the wholeness producing part within you.
Seetha : Why are you not always with me and only visiting me?
Healing Muse : Actually I am always with you. But you seem to forget this and I come today in this special way to remind you that I am with you always. You need not be become afraid or panicky when you get ill, but turn within and help me help you instead. Give me time to heal you.
Seetha : How can I remember you always ?
Healing Muse : Why don’t you do something to help yourself?
Seetha : Yes. I will draw a picture of you and keep it hanging on my wall to remind me daily that you are with me.
Seetha to Villagers : What do you symbolise ?
Villagers : We symbolise that part in you to be healed regarding your relationship to others. We are here to encourage you to heal yourself, not being distracted with your other interests and working on the proglems which may take a long time. Then only you heal your relationships. You have to be healed of your anger at yourself, blaming yourself when things go wrong, your self-doubt, and lack of confidence, and demanding too much of yourself.
Seetha : Thank you, all of you dream spirits for sharing all of this and goodbye.

I carried out the dream task of drawing the Healing Muse. The drawing experience was an important as the dialogue. After seeing the Muse in picture form, I felt less alone and afraid that I may not be able to heal myself. I experienced God’s presence and help coming through the Muse. It confirmed what my facilitator told me by way of a note she gave me : God, Chief Psychotherapist, available 24 hours, triple Ph. D. (foreign) in :