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Goals
- To understand the function of
anger.
- To practice assertive ways of
dealing with anger.
Group Size
No one more than fifteen dyads.
Time Required
One and one-half to two hours
Materials
- Newsprint, felt-tipped markers,
and masking tape for the facilitator.
- A pencil, blank paper, and a copy
of the Whats the Threat Questionnaire for
each participant.
Process
- The facilitator distributes the
Whats the Threat Questionnaire, paper, and
pencils and instructs participants to complete it
in preparation for the activity (Ten minutes).
- Participants are told to choose
partners and to discuss with those partners one
or two of their responses and anything they may
have learned from completing the questionnaire
about the way in which they tend to view or deal
with anger. (Five to ten minutes).
- The facilitator presents a short
lecturette on anger, including the anger cycle
and steps to take to express anger. In dealing
with anger we must distinguish stored childhood
anger from current anger. Stored anger can be
dealt with by punching pillows as you shout out
the reasons for the anger or using any one of
many ways in various psychotherapies.
In dealing with current anger a helpful
model is to use the Anger Cycle.
THE ANGER CYCLE
There are four parts :
- Threat : before you feel angry,
you hear some threat to your status, self-esteem
to your being or doing or to your identity and
this brings the angry feeling. Identifying the
Threat in exercise is a good way of cutting the
Anger Cycle.
- Assumptions
: If we dont
deal with the threat, we next cook up assumptions
which add fuel to the fire - our anger keeps
gathering velocity.
- If we still dont break the
cycle, we go on to power assessment. Here we look
at whether we - or the other person is more
powerful. Our explosion of anger will depend on
our assessment of power.
- Anger. Thus we can see this as a closed cycle,
feeding more fuel to our anger as it moves
around. The cure is to cut the cycles at any of
the points (as in the exercise in identifying and
dealing with threat).
This makes it into an open system as
new information changes assumptions into facts, beliefs
into reality, and unfogs our vision.
- The facilitator tells participants
to think about the kinds of things that usually
make them angry and to each choose a real
situation in which they would like to learn to
express their more appropriately.
- Participants are asked to share
their situations with their partners and, with
their partners help to identify the threat
involved in the situations and to role play
sharing those threats in sensitive assertive ways
with those involved.
The following
guidelines are posted :
- Acknowledge your anger.
- Gauge how much anger you are
feeling.
- Diagnose the threat.
- Share the perceived threat in a
nonthreatening way, use "I" statements,
and ask for help and clarification.
- The facilitator asks participants
to share what they have learned from the
experience and any questions that have arisen.
- The facilitator asks participants
to choose new partners, to each think of a
situation in which they have trouble responding
to anothers anger, and to role play
responding to that anger in a sensitive,
assertive way. The following guidelines are
posted:
- Affirm the others feeling.
- Acknowledge your own
defensiveness.
- Clarify and diagnose.
- Renegotiate the relationship (Ten
to twenty minutes).
- The facilitator asks participants
to share what they learned from the experience
with the large group.
- The facilitator directs
participants to discuss with their partners some
specific ways in which they can use what they
have learned.
Variation
As a last step, or instead of
role playing, participants can practice dealing with
anger situations with the group. The facilitator can
direct participants to rehearse, sharing the threat
involved in the anger they actually have felt, feel, or
could feel toward someone in the room if the person acted
in a certain specified way. Time is then allotted for
each participant to approach the other person actually
involved and to share the threat with him/her. (If more
than one person wants to share with the same person, each
waits in line.) After sharing their feeling with the
other person, participants make themselves available to
others by remaining alone and standing until approached.
At the end of the time period, participants return to
their partners to discuss the experience. The facilitator
leads in a discussion of the experience.
WHATS THE
THREAT QUESTIONNAIRE
\How do I express and respond to anger :
- Do I usually keep quiet when
Im angry?
- Do I usually walk away from the
other person when Im angry?
- Do I simmer for days and then the
vent my anger in a big blow-up?
- Do I appear to feel hurt when
Im actually angry ?
- Do I take out my anger on someone
other than the person at whom Im angry?
- Do I express my anger directly and
firmly, but without labeling the other person?
- When someone else is angry with
me, can I respond directly and effectively, with
composure? Can I listen, try to understand their
grievance?
- Do I feel hurt and withdraw when
someone is angry with me?
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